The final count down.

 

The ramp is finished. We are planning to move my mother in this Saturday. I have less than a week to savor my final days of living alone. While I'm savoring my solitude, I'll also be focused on the last minute efforts to get the house ready to move her stuff in. Nope, I'm not done unpacking yet. First up is to finish unpacking the tack room in the barn and turning it into a pottery space so I can move the cats to the barn, starting them out in the pottery room as the place to feed them and letting them move into the rest of the barn as they are ready. Once they are in the barn, they'll be able to go in and out of the barn through a space under the outside door. We'll call that a cat door. They can come and go as they please. My mother is allergic to cats, so they have to go out to the barn before she moves in. There are still a few boxes in the living room that have to be unpacked or moved to make room for her recliner. Her bedroom is ready for her to move in except for a mattress on the floor that will go out to the barn loft (airbnb? lol).

In the mean time I've done this:

Four chicks and 3 ducklings are currently living in that awesome bathtub (the really big one with jets that I haven't even soaked in yet) in a plastic tub. The cord that keeps their heat lamp going stretches across the bathroom in front of the toilet which will be in the way of my mother's walker, so I'll have to work that out. Why did I need to get chicks and ducklings now? Eh, I was in Tractor Supply, and the chicks and ducklings were there calling to me; and it seemed like a good idea. They shouldn't be in there for very long after she moves in, and she can't use the bathtub anyway. I have some work to do on the chicken coops to get them ready for these guys, but that gives me more reason to be outside after my mother moves in.

If you knew my mother and were anticipating her moving in with you, you'd understand why I need as many reasons to be outside as possible. Many of my friends are blessed with beautiful relationships with their parents, and I'm so happy for those of you that are. Not going to open up a therapy session here, but living with my mother isn't really something I'm looking forward to. None the less, she is my mother; and she needs supervision; and I'm all I can afford. So we'll make it work. Wish me luck!

Moving North (Just a little)

So, I'm moving the farm. The dogs, cats, chickens, goats and I are moving to Pickens, South Carolina. This is the new (to me) house. It's very small so I have a lot of stuff to get rid of before I move. I'll be posting a list of furniture to see if anyone wants any of it. It's kinda plain from this angle, but it's cozy and homey with hardwood floors and a nice little kitchen. Contrary to appearance, there is no fireplace. After I get settled my mother will be moving in with me.

My favorite picture of the house is this one. I love this deck off of the dining room, but the best part is what's in the background here, the barn. It's hard to see in this photo, but there are already three fenced pastures in front of the barn.

The pictures are from the real estate listing. As usual, I neglected to take pictures when I was there. The tractor in the barn apparently doesn't come with the house. I even offered to buy it but haven't heard an answer. It is a horse barn, but I think the goats can make do. There is a third stall on the other side and a tack room. I think the tack room might become a pottery studio.

There is also a chicken coop and another small outbuilding that could be a duck house, another chicken coop or something else. 

Behind the barn, on the other side of the line of fir trees is a mega Baptist Church. They'll probably get used to having me next door eventually.

The view from the front living room window is Reece Mountain. Down the road a mile or two are Turkey Cock Mountain, Nine Times Nature Preserve and Nine Time Forest, the last two with trails that allow dogs. Kodi approves.

Reece Mountain is also the view from the kitchen window. My mother has always loved traveling to the mountains to see the leaves change in the fall. All she will have to do now is sit in the living room and look across the road. I might even get her to help with the dishes. I'll let her decide if she wants her recliner in the living room or dining room.

The view of the house from the barn.

I’ve been thinking about my anger recently. Frustration and anger are closely tied for me, and the biggest sources of frustration for me these days are the goats. Kodi (the puppy) is a close second, but he’s easier for me to be patient with. I have one goat that I have been having an ongoing battle with (Sister, full name Sister Bertrille because she has flying nun ears). She is an absolute bitch. The only reason I’m not milking her right now is because I wasn’t willing to fight with her over it. I tried twice and gave up. If I try again, I will try hobbling her. She is the mother of the three month old babies, and she will kick her own kids off of food. I have a smaller, very docile goat that she beats up on a regular basis just for the fun of it. When I first got goats someone told me that their horns made a good handle to grab them by, and I thought no, they can’t possibly like that. And they don’t, but I have no issues with grabbing Sister by the horn to move her when I need to. And yes, I hate to admit it, but I have kicked her once or twice. I don’t do physical damage, and I can’t possibly hurt a goat any more than they do each other daily. But it is a time when I lose my temper, and our ongoing battle is a result of my loss of temper which only encourages her to fight back. She doesn’t threaten me, she usually takes it out on another goat, and I feel bad about that.


As a child I was taught to never “lose my temper,” but in my family that meant not showing any anger at all. I think it’s a disservice to children to teach them never to show anger. We are all going to get angry from time to time, and learning how to express that anger is valuable. Anger is often a legitimate response, as many of us are clearly realizing these days. One of the reasons I’m thinking about this is because I know that I’m going to get angry with my mother when she is living with me. I don’t think I’ll kick her. I might yell at her, but I’d prefer not to. When we were children her primary outlet for anger was yelling, and I know from experience with her and myself that yelling doesn’t accomplish much. So I ask myself, what do I want to accomplish with my temper. Losing my temper means I’ve lost control, and I can’t say that won’t happen. But it also won’t accomplish anything. I don’t expect to change a person (or a goat) as a result of getting mad at them, but I’d like to learn to feel comfortable with my anger. If I’m able to express my anger, at least they know when they have crossed a line with me. If I’m controlling my temper, I visualize that as taking a deep breath and stopping to think about what I want to say or do. I have been known to say I need to go for a walk to deal with this and I will be back.

I love Caidyn Bennett’s no bullying policy video (https://www.facebook.com/CaidynBennett/videos/110058786566847/) partly because she takes up for herself and partly because she recognizes the consequences of her actions and “that’s okay with me”.