I’ve been thinking about my anger recently. Frustration and anger are closely tied for me, and the biggest sources of frustration for me these days are the goats. Kodi (the puppy) is a close second, but he’s easier for me to be patient with. I have one goat that I have been having an ongoing battle with (Sister, full name Sister Bertrille because she has flying nun ears). She is an absolute bitch. The only reason I’m not milking her right now is because I wasn’t willing to fight with her over it. I tried twice and gave up. If I try again, I will try hobbling her. She is the mother of the three month old babies, and she will kick her own kids off of food. I have a smaller, very docile goat that she beats up on a regular basis just for the fun of it. When I first got goats someone told me that their horns made a good handle to grab them by, and I thought no, they can’t possibly like that. And they don’t, but I have no issues with grabbing Sister by the horn to move her when I need to. And yes, I hate to admit it, but I have kicked her once or twice. I don’t do physical damage, and I can’t possibly hurt a goat any more than they do each other daily. But it is a time when I lose my temper, and our ongoing battle is a result of my loss of temper which only encourages her to fight back. She doesn’t threaten me, she usually takes it out on another goat, and I feel bad about that.


As a child I was taught to never “lose my temper,” but in my family that meant not showing any anger at all. I think it’s a disservice to children to teach them never to show anger. We are all going to get angry from time to time, and learning how to express that anger is valuable. Anger is often a legitimate response, as many of us are clearly realizing these days. One of the reasons I’m thinking about this is because I know that I’m going to get angry with my mother when she is living with me. I don’t think I’ll kick her. I might yell at her, but I’d prefer not to. When we were children her primary outlet for anger was yelling, and I know from experience with her and myself that yelling doesn’t accomplish much. So I ask myself, what do I want to accomplish with my temper. Losing my temper means I’ve lost control, and I can’t say that won’t happen. But it also won’t accomplish anything. I don’t expect to change a person (or a goat) as a result of getting mad at them, but I’d like to learn to feel comfortable with my anger. If I’m able to express my anger, at least they know when they have crossed a line with me. If I’m controlling my temper, I visualize that as taking a deep breath and stopping to think about what I want to say or do. I have been known to say I need to go for a walk to deal with this and I will be back.

I love Caidyn Bennett’s no bullying policy video (https://www.facebook.com/CaidynBennett/videos/110058786566847/) partly because she takes up for herself and partly because she recognizes the consequences of her actions and “that’s okay with me”.